Hammer Time!
Starstruck at Second City
Toronto – My second date in Toronto was a friend of a friend’s from Hamilton. My matchmaker back home mentioned that he was a nice guy, but she failed to mention I would need a glossary for his distinct vocabulary.
Now, from what I gather, a “solid” is a booty call you can depend on. And if a guy in the Hammer has a steady roster of “solids” on standby, then hey, who needs a girlfriend? Nice.
The way he explained it though, enlisting solids after last call is something some of his single buddies do – not him. So I let it slide.
He lost me, however, when we got on the subject of public transit. In between swigs of his Coors, he explained to me why he’ll never take the bus again: “The people are ‘disgusting.’”
Huh.
“They’re of a ‘certain demographic,’” he said, before adding, “you know what I mean?” I didn’t. And I didn’t like my options either: Was this guy referring to a class or a race? I didn’t bother finding out. It crossed my mind to walk out on him, but to be honest, I kind of felt sorry for him. I think he’s totally oblivious to how these comments come across to people outside his immediate circle of friends.
Plus, I knew once we got to the legendary Second City after dinner, all talking would cease. And it did. But not before I went berserk taking photos of myself beside photos of my comedic heros. It was the most fun I had all night.
See, Second City holds a special place in my CanCon heart. Growing up, we were too poor for cable and SCTV was one of the few shows we could tune into with our limited channels. And not only did we have limited channel reception, our actual channel changer fell off. So we had to manually switch back and forth between our two channels with a pair of pliers. Then we lost the pliers and we had to use a garlic presser to switch to SCTV in time to catch the TVs being thrown out the window. Classic!
Suffice to say, Second City will go down as one of the highlights of my entire trip. As for my date, don’t think I’ll be seeing him again.
what an asshole. guess it’s back to solids for him.
LOL!!!
A garlic press – f%$#ing hilarious. I can see it. We had cable (and could change the channels with our fingers – this was before remotes, of course), but I still loved SCTV.